I was brought up in a generation where womxn were not told to empower each other. In fact, growing up womxn caused me most of my heartache and drama. I want to raise Ruby in a society where womxn are uplifting each other. A society where womxn can work side by side and not fear jealousy or drama. We need to teach our daughters to trust their instincts and to always be truthful. I wish that I had known who my “real” friends where and given them more of me. I can say, 17 years after high school, I have maybe 3 people that I still stay in touch with. Those people are the ones, looking back that never hurt me. They didn’t add to my bad reputation. They didn’t listen to the lies or ditch me. Life in general is hard. Making friends can be easy – but friendship requires attention, energy and patience.
Here are lessons I can teach my daughter about all this:
- If someone is your friend and they are talking bad to you about another friend, chances are they are talking bad about you as well; it’s a red flag.
- There’s a difference between gossiping and sharing information. KNOW the difference.
- Don’t be fooled by the term “friend” be conscious of who you are letting into your circle of trust. Sometimes people want to be your friend for the wrong reasons.
- If your gut is telling you something LISTEN.
- Friendship is relationship, it takes two people to make it work.
- If you miss your someone, reach out; there’s never TOO much distance for hello.
- If someone makes you feel shame or judged, ditch them. They’re not worth your time.
- Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Who want to grow, and watch you grow at the same time.
- If someone needs space, give it to them. If they are meant to be in your life they will come back.
- Don’t chase. It’ll come.
- If you are doing something and it isn’t making you happy or isn’t fulfilling, ditch it.
- If it’s too tight, take it off. Life’s too short to be uncomfortable in clothing.
- It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to get angry. Spend the time you need to feel out your emotions, then check yourself and get back up; because you CAN.
I can only hope that she learns from my mistakes and challenges, and take these lessons into consideration as she grows up. If I spare her, or any other young girls some heartache, then this is all worthwhile.
Cofounder Mothers Mary